


Never Again

by jacinth



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Louis' POV, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 20:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacinth/pseuds/jacinth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Goodbye, Harry. I'm sorry I wasn't...” he spread his arms out, “this wasn't enough. I hope you find what you're looking for.”</p><p>Or</p><p>Harry breaks up with Louis and realizes too late that he made a huge mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize in advance.
> 
> Title and lyrics are from Kelly Clarkson's song 'Never Again'

Louis stared at the wall, silent tears streaming down his cheeks. Three years. Three _fucking_ years stomped on like they meant nothing.  
  
“ _We need to experience other people, Louis_.”

Louis had met Harry when he was fourteen and Harry fifteen – they had been inseparable from day one, starting off as friends and eventually becoming too attracted to one another to not do anything about it. For three years they had been attached at the hip, loving each other more than anything or anyone, losing their virginity's together, even planning to get married some day, Harry giving Louis a promise ring that he never took off.

It was when Harry began Uni that things started to change. At first everything was fine, then Harry started making new friends – and it wasn't that Louis minded, it was that Harry began pulling away from him, becoming snarky and borderline disrespectful.  
  
Everything came to a head when Louis saw Harry accept another boy's number.

When he confronted him, Harry snapped. Telling Louis he felt trapped, smothered, by their relationship. “I'm in Uni for fuck's sake, Louis! I see my friends going out, experiencing new things... new people. And at first I didn't mind – now I feel like I'm missing out on something – when we got together, we were _so_ young, and, I don't know if this is what I want for the rest of my life. I love you, Lou. But maybe we should take a break, find out what the world has to offer.”

Louis had remained silent, his heart breaking, shattering with every cruel word Harry uttered. He swallowed, blinking back tears that felt like acid. “If...” he took another shaky breath. “If you go, Harry. I... it has to be for good. I can't let myself hope that you'll come back to me.”  
  
Then Louis had kissed him softly. “Goodbye, Harry. I'm sorry I wasn't...” he spread his arms out, “ _this_ wasn't enough. I hope you find what you're looking for.”

Louis had then quickly packed the things he had at Harry's apartment and left, ringing his mum to come get him. He kept himself together until he got into his mum's car, then he broke.

He had trusted Harry more than anyone, loved and needed him more than anyone, and he had thought the other boy felt the same, thought they would get married and spend their lives together. He supposed this served him right for being so childish and idealistic. Never again would he give himself so fully to another person. People couldn't be trusted and he knew that now.  
  
He had learned his lesson.

Never again.  
  
-:-

**_Eight Months Later_ **

Louis was driving to Zayn's. He had met Zayn that winter at the cinema of all places and they had become best friends. They had kissed once but quickly decided they were better as friends, mostly due to the fact that Louis couldn't open up. Any time anyone even attempted to flirt with him he clammed up, and yes, he realized it wasn't healthy, but it had only been eight months and he just wasn't ready, okay?

He flipped on the radio only to hear Leona Lewis belting out 'Better In Time.' and resisted the urge to drive off the bridge he was currently crossing.

When he pulled up outside Zayn's house he honked and switched the stations again, hearing 'I Will Always Love You', 'Who Knew' and 'Already Gone' before finally turning the traitorous radio off. By then Zayn had hopped in the front seat and they were joking back and forth, on their way to the beach. It was one of those rare sunny days and Zayn had convinced (hounded him) into going. At first he had protested that he didn't have any swim trunks but Zayn had quickly remedied this by offering Louis a pair of his own, which, Louis was incredibly reluctant about and when Zayn had handed him a pair of tiny white swim trunks, Louis knew his worry had been for a reason.

When Louis had squeezed into them before picking Zayn up he had nearly texted the other boy and cancelled – he looked like a Kardashian and not in a good way – but decided against it, Zayn had put up with his whiny moods over the last few month of their friendship, surely he could hang out with Zayn at the beach without complaining? 

After the boys had shucked their clothing, Louis stood tapping his foot as he watched Zayn fix his hair in a hand-held mirror. “Really?”  
  
“Shut up, Louis. There'll be some extremely hot dudes out today.”  
  
Louis made a face and put on his sunglasses, shaking his head at his oh-so-vain friend.  
  
Five minutes later, Louis had had it and was darting forward to steal the mirror out of Zayn's hands and taking off running toward the beach, Zayn cursing up a storm behind him as he followed.  
  
Zayn tackled him into the sand and they rolled around, wrestling and laughing until Louis found himself lifted and tossed over his friends shoulder. He kicked, smacking Zayn's ass. “Put me down! You weigh like twelve pounds how are you even carrying me?!”  
  
Zayn laughed, and tossed him into the water, but not before Louis got a grip on him, dragging him in as well.

Ten minutes later both boys collapsed on the shoreline, laughing and breathless and Louis straddled Zayn's hips, shoving a handful of sand into the boy's precious hair before taking off again and not stopping until he reached a picnic table on the grass away from the sand. He slumped down, breathing heavily and smiling... until he looked up.

Someone somewhere must really hate him. Because there was Harry walking with a tall dark haired man, smiling and laughing. He looked... happy.

Louis gulped and looked at the ground, all the feelings of pain, betrayal, lonliness, anger and love crashing over him like a tidal wave. Before he could even process it. they had stopped and were now talking to... Zayn?!

Not knowing what else to do, Louis tipped his face towards the sky and cursed every thing down to the last ant to Hell.

How the fuck did Harry know Zayn?!

“Louis!” Zayn called and Louis made a face at the sky before tilting his head back down to look at his friend... who was being followed closely by Harry and his friend. Louis bit his tongue and dug his fingernails into the wood beneath him in an effort not to bolt.

“Hey.” Zayn winked at him, kissing him lightly on the mouth then climbing up onto the picnic table and sitting behind Louis, legs framing his body. Louis leaned back against the, the contact comforting. Bless Zayn. He had reluctantly told him about Harry months ago, showing him a picture of them his mum still had - even though he begged her to get rid of them all. Zayn must have recognized Harry.

Running his hands up and down Louis' arms, Zayn introduced them. “Louis, this is my old friend, Liam, and his cousin Harry, guys, this is Louis.”

Louis forced a smile, and looked up at Zayn, who leaned down again and kissed his forehead. Louis could feel Harry's eyes on him and for the first time he looked at the other boys. He smiled at Liam “Nice to meet you!” and nodded at Harry, “Harry.”

“Louis.” Harry greeted, voice tight.

Good, 'I hope he's uncomfortable seeing me with Zayn, he deserves it.' Louis thought. He knew he was being irrational but he really, really, didn't care. Looking up again, he noticed a new tattoo over Harry's heart: לואיס. He was sure it was Hebrew but there was no way in hell he was asking.

He felt warmth running though him as his eyes trailed Harry's body and there was no denying he missed him more than words could say. Louis shook himself, no. He wasn't going there. Ever again. It would only lead to more pain. 

Louis stood, “I'm gonna grab something from the refreshment stand, anyone want anything?”  
  
Both Zayn and Liam accepted his offer telling him what they'd like while Harry remained silent, eyes blazing into Louis' skin. “I'll come with you.”

Louis pursed his lips and began walking, Harry catching up to him in two strides. Fucking daddy long legs. “How've you been?”

Louis' eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses, he wanted to hurt Harry. “I was feeling pretty shit for a while, but no worries, Zayn's big fat cock made me feel _all_ better.” he lied, purposely adding a little bounce to his step. Harry wouldn't care, after all it was him who said they needed to 'experience other people' but it made Louis feel better so he considered it a win.

He yelped as he was wrenched around by his arm, “You're fucking that little weasel?”

Louis tilted his chin defiantly. “I don't think it's any of your business, sweetheart.” he hummed in a patronizingly sweet voice. “And anyways, isn't that what you wanted?”

Harry mumbled something unintelligible and Louis whipped back around, “What was that?”

“I didn't exactly think it through.”  
  
“Ohh” Louis nodded, “You thought you'd go out and stick your dick in every willing thing but you didn't expect me to do the same?”

Harry shook his head and crossed his arms in front of his chest, “That's not it – I didn't expect it to hurt so much, seeing you with someone else.”

Louis bit his lip. God, Harry looked so hurt and small despite the fact that he was almost a foot taller than himself and Louis felt a protectiveness swell inside of him – no, he wouldn't fall into that trap. He wouldn't let himself get hurt again. Never again.

“Yeah, it doesn't feel too great when the person you love...used to love... is with other people, _does it?_ ” Louis snapped, taking off once more.

Harry caught him again, “Can we talk later?” he sounded desperate but Louis shook his head.  
  
“Louis please-”  
  
“Whatever it is,” he interrupted, “whether you want to be friends now or... something else, I'm not interested, Harry. You made your decision and you can't take it back.”

“Louis,” Harry whispered, giving him a pained look.  
  
“No Harry. Never again.”

_Never again will I hear you_  
 _Never again will I miss you_  
 _Never again will I fall to you_  
 _Never_

-:-

 _ **12 Years Later**_  
  
“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”  
  
Louis put down the magazine he was reading and smiled at the toddler bounding towards him. “Jamie! Did you have a good day at Grandma's?”  
  
“Yeah! We baked cookies.”  
  
Louis' mouth dropped open dramatically, “ _Cookies_? Did you bring me some!?”  
  
Jamie nodded excitedly. “For you and papa.”

Ian rounded corner with two cups of tea, “Did someone say cookies?”

Louis smiled up at his husband, “Our son made us cookies.”  
  
“You'll run your own bakery one day.” Ian told Jamie, scooping him into his lap.  
  
A fleeting pang worked it's way through Louis' chest as his husbands words brought back memories of a boy he once knew.

_Never again will I kiss you_  
 _Never again will I want to_  
 _Never again will I love you_

_Never_  

 

**Author's Note:**

> The tattoo over Harry's heart means 'Louis' in Hebrew. *hides*  
> Feel free to comment!


End file.
